So I wrote a few weeks ago about my ongoing saga with Off and On.  We’re still off, and have been for just over 3 months now…that makes this “off” longer than the other two.  And longer than any of the three “ons.”  Unless you don’t count the second off, because it only lasted about three weeks.  But I have to count it because it’s the angriest I’ve been at him – it involved the inauguration.  To make a long story short, he bailed 3 days before inauguration, leaving me without a place to stay in the District so I had to take the metro (disaster on that day!), without anyone to go with to inauguration because all our friends with blue tickets stayed at his place and walked together, and without a ticket to an inaugural ball.  I ended up getting one, but had to crash the date of my friends Flaky Girl and Nice Guy (those two are a drama all to themselves).

Anyway.  Not the subject of this post.  The subject of this post is that last night I went on the first good date I’ve gone on since Off and On.  We got drinks last night near my apartment.  We had a nice conversation and then took a walk after we got our check.  I offered to pay half, he said no.  This isn’t a requirement.  I’ve a 21st century, independent feminist with my own job that I don’t ever intend to quit.  But you get points for paying on a first date.  Doesn’t have to go much past the first and in fact it gets awkward if it does.  And you don’t even lose points for accepting my half.  But you do gain points for not taking it.  So he walked me back to my place.  (He’s from the south and is a bit of a southern gentleman, but not so much that it’s annoying.)  He asked to come in to use the bathroom (oldest guy trick in the book, right?).  We sat and watched Olbermann.  He took my hand.  He kissed me.  After just a little bit of making out, he left.  Excellent date, right?

Except I realized after he left and I went to bed that I didn’t want to be kissing him.  It wasn’t a problem of not being attracted to him, but a problem of thinking about Off and On the whole time.  Ugh.